My Tolkien Journey – by Daniel

Like countless others around the world, I fell in love with the created world and mythology of J.R.R. Tolkien, a love that has (so far) lasted a lifetime. It has ebbed and flowed over time, as life usually does. I wanted to share a little of my journey with Tolkien’s works, what they’ve meant to me, and a bit about engaging with others who also love his works and the effects it has had.

Like so many others of my generation, I first came to know of Tolkien and his works through Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings film trilogy. I had just turned 12 years old when The Fellowship of the Ring came out in theaters. A friend of mine, whose father had been a longtime Tolkien fan, invited me to go with his family to see the film one weekend. Naturally, I said yes. I had no idea what the story was about or what I was about to see as the lights went down. About three hours later, when they came up, I was enamored. It was a world of such scope, depth, and beauty that my 12-year-old brain could scarcely keep hold of it all. On the way home, I was informed that, of course, the movie had been based on a book. I learned that there were three volumes, and that they were somewhat old. I knew what I needed to do next.

When I got home, I immediately begged my mother to take me to the library so that I could check out the first book. She agreed, and away we went. I remember that the edition that my local library had was an older one, a Ballatine Books edition from 1993 (since it was 2002, I suppose it wasn’t really that old at the time). I can still remember that cover: a rendition ofGandalf holding out the One Ring with Frodo peering around him, looking at it.

After I had read about half of the book, I knew two things: a) I was going to be reading all three books; and b) I needed to own these books. I must have had money from either my birthday or Christmas saved, because I once again begged my mother to take me to get the books, this time to the now out-of-business bookseller, Borders. I found the books, and I grabbed the paperback box set that included the three volumes of The Lord of the Rings as well as The Hobbit. The covers were movie tie-ins and had pictures of characters from the films on them. The Fellowship of the Ring was black and featured Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins on the cover, having just been given his sword, Sting. The Two Towers had Sir Christopher Lee as Saruman, and The Return of the King, naturally, had Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn. I admit that, at the time, I didn’t pay much attention to The Hobbit, since I knew very little about it and had already started The Lord of the Rings. The rest of that school year (as well as into the summer) was spent reading and rereading the books, even going into the Appendices to learn more (although, being 12, Appendices E and F didn’t mean much to me, not being that well versed in languages).

Looking back on reading the books (and other observations of other franchises I enjoy), I tend to gravitate towards the “Sage” archetype. For instance, my favorite Star Wars character is Yoda. I’m not sure what it is about those characters that draws me in, but it happens all the time. In the case of The Lord of the Rings, my favorite character was (and is to this day) Gandalf. Why the wizard? Why not Aragorn, or Frodo, or the ever-popular Sam? In the books, Gandalf gives off an air of withheld power. We feel that he is capable of a lot more than what we’re seeing, even though he has some impressive displays, such as against the wolf pack that arrives as they make their way south towards the Pass of Caradhras and again against the Balrog. Maybe that was the attraction then. Now, I think it has more to do with Gandalf’s temperament (which I find hilarious) and his great capacity for love, pity, and mercy (which is a very important theme throughout).

I also spent that fateful summer watching the movies. Yes, movies. I did eventually own the Jackson film on VHS (DVDs came later). But I once again made my way to the library and discovered the Rankin-Bass animated adaptations of both The Hobbit and The Return of the King as well as Ralph Bakshi’s animated The Lord of the Rings. The animated versions have their charms, to be sure, and at that time there was no other film adaptation of The Hobbit. But even at 12, I could recognize some of the silliness of those adaptations, as much as I also liked them. That, of course, didn’t stop me from watching them non-stop (for as long as I had them checked out). I also read The Hobbit, but I don’t remember enjoying it as much. It may have been because I read The Lord of the Rings first, but I found the writing a little too simplistic. Ironically, it wasn’t until I was much older that I really started to appreciate that story as it deserves.

The next two years progressed similarly. I saw Jackson’s The Two Towers and The Return of the King in theaters (several times, much to the chagrin of my exasperated mother, who eventually refused to see them with me anymore). I read the books a few more times, and devoured the extended editions of the films when they came out. I can even remember my 13th birthday cake having a small but elaborate construction in icing of Bag End, with little figurines of the characters on it. (I still have the Gandalf figurine, which sits on top of my set of books.) I had some more merchandise from the movies, most of which has inexplicably disappeared over the years, and my copies of the books began to show some serious wear and tear from having been read so many times. As high school came on, my life got busier, my interest in music grew (which I would go on to major in in college), and I read other things as well. But Tolkien was always there, waiting to transport me back to Middle-earth when I wanted to. I learned about The Silmarillion, although I hadn’t read it, and I had once or twice checked out Unfinished Tales from the library so I could read about the Wizards of Middle-earth. For my senior quote, I chose Gandalf’s well-known line taken from The Fellowship of the Ring:

‘I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo.

‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us…’

Over the course of my college years and beyond, Tolkien’s works somewhat faded into the background. When I was about 21, I got that same quote tattooed on my arm, and it appears to this day in the bio lines of almost all of my social media accounts. I suppose it has become my defining quote. But I stopped rereading the books as much, and I didn’t have much time to dedicate to watching Jackson’s film trilogy. Of course, in 2012 Jackson began putting out his Hobbit trilogy. I dutifully went to the theaters to see them, and although I did (and do) enjoy them, they didn’t quite have that same impact that the first film trilogy did.

It wasn’t until 2022 that I finally cracked open my copy of The Silmarillion for the first time. I was drowned in all the names of characters and locations, and the stories didn’t stick with me well, maybe because I read them too fast. At the end of 2024 I reread it, and so much more has stayed with me. The tales of the elves and men of the First Age are tragically beautiful, and the work opens the doors to all of the other volumes of Tolkien’s work that his son Christopher collected and published. I have added The Fall of Gondolin and Morgoth’s Ring to my collection, as well as a new set of The Lord of the Rings, hardcover this time. My original, battered paperbacks finally had had it: one day I went to open The Fellowship and 40 pages fell out, littering the floor. The other two volumes were in just as bad a shape, and I knew it was time. I reverently threw them out. I have renewed my old habit from a decade or so ago of rereading the books every year, to keep the story fresh in my mind.

In 2022, Amazon released the first season of their new television adaptation, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power. I went in with zero expectations, and I found that I was entertained, but more importantly it renewed an interest in the stories for me, and I had to delve once more into the appendices of the books to find out as much as I could. The show focuses on the mysterious Second Age of Middle-earth that Tolkien didn’t leave much about, igniting my curiosity. It was about that time that I decided to read The Silmarillion for the first time. The show also seems to be bringing in a whole new group of fans, many of whom are finding Tolkien for the first time through adaptation, just as I had 20 years earlier. The second season released in 2024 and was absolutely exhilarating, and my excitement is higher now for the legendarium than it has been in a long time. As of this writing the third season has just been announced and discussions and predictions have already begun.

So what has this legendarium meant to me? I think that in the beginning I was caught up in the fantasy of it all. I was already a fan of a certain wizard school series, and I was eager to read anything else fantasy. I had also read Redwall by Brian Jaques which, while not exactly fantasy in the strictest sense, opened my mind to a more medieval setting. But The Lord of the Rings astounded me in a way that not many other books have done. Tolkien’s world-building set a standard that I have yet to see equalled. But the characters are so sharp and well-written that they have stayed with me for now 23 years (and counting). Yes, you can call it escapism, and literary elitists will tell you that this makes Tolkien’s works inferior. What they actually tell me is that they cannot find meaning in anything that isn’t based in the real world. There are so many lessons to be learned from the books, not the least of which is pity and mercy. Tolkien’s works aren’t particularly hopeful, at least not in a “they all lived happily ever after” way: Frodo doesn’t live happily ever after. He has to leave Middle-earth behind in order to find peace. But I think these stories do still give hope, that light is present even in the darkest and most unlikely places. There is power, majesty, and greatness in these stories, but there is also humility, simplicity, and gentility. What Tolkien does so well is show us the joy in small, ordinary things that we so often take for granted. And it is that joy that I’ve tried to keep with me. I cannot imagine a life without these books (and their adaptations), and I’m so glad that I don’t have to.

The final aspect of this journey that needs to be mentioned is social media. The various apps that exist have been wonderful in bringing people from the various fandoms together to discuss and enjoy what they love. But naturally, there have been negatives to these platforms: bigotry continues to rear its ugly face everywhere, and gatekeeping has become a plague. Some people have still to realize that these stories are for everyone. But in 2024, I stumbled into TolkienTok, a subsection of TikTok where people share their passion for all of the various aspects of Tolkien’s legendarium. I found creators that are open, accepting, and eager to have people be part of the discussions and excitement. And while there are still issues, I am grateful that the creators that I have chosen to follow are the most pleasant people to be around that I could have hoped to find. Shire-folk of the highest quality. I have begun to open up a bit to them, participating in livestream discussions and reading events as well as engaging on social media posts. I think that this was the aspect of the fandom that I had been missing: community. I have found a truly wonderful community of people to share with, and this is the future, just as Tolkien would want it.