How You (And Your Relationship) Can Survive Extreme Adventure

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On July 15, 2024, engaged couple Andrew Hamilton and Andrea Sansone raised the bar for co-ed hiking teams (and adventure relationships in general) when they set a new record linking every Colorado 14er in a single push. This particular linkup is seldom done in one go, mostly due to the mind-blowing logistical challenges: It involves connecting all of Colorado’s 58 14,000-foot peaks—some of which are hundreds of miles apart—as quickly as possible. The feat involves around 150,000 feet of vertical gain, not to mention transit between trailheads all over the state.

Hamilton and Sansone first met in 2012 on the top of South Maroon Peak. At that time, Hamilton was already an accomplished mountaineer and would go on to set the men’s supported 14er record (nine days, 21 hours and 51 minutes) just three years later. Sansone, however, was new to big-mountain hiking; South Maroon was one of her first 14ers. Soon after meeting, the two started hiking together.

As their relationship deepened, Sansone found herself inspired by Hamilton’s record attempts—and soon started pursuing some of her own. To date, she holds the Nolan’s 14 record and the 24-hour 14er record (she tagged 12 summits in a single day). As the years went on, the couple decided to start chasing fastest known times (FKTs) together.

This summer, the Hamilton and Sansone planned a particularly ambitious goal: They’d try to break Hamilton’s 2015 14er record as a team. But from the time they started in July 3, the pair was struck with setback after setback.

First, there was the train. Hamilton and Sansone planned to reach their initial trailhead in Chicago Basin via the Durango and Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, an antique, steam-powered locomotive that remains the fastest way to access the roadless Weminuche Wilderness. But on July 2, they discovered the train was inoperable due to mudslides. Undeterred, they hopped on mountain bikes, planning to pedal into the basin instead. But the mudslides remained in their way, and they spent 7.5 hours dragging their bikes through 10 miles of mud and debris. While the train was back online in time to transport them from Chicago Basin to the peaks around nearby Silverton, the couple found themselves battling major fatigue from the start.

Then, a handful of peaks later, they started to experience lung trouble. After four days at altitude, Sansone was struggling to get in a full breath.

“We just couldn’t climb. We were missing our splits terribly,” Hamilton says. By the time they reached the Elk Mountains, they were both wheezing so badly that they had to pivot to the mellower peaks of the Sawatch Range. This allowed them a few days to recover, but they lost precious hours in the process. They were no longer on track to set a new overall record. After a five-day death march, they felt exhausted and defeated.

“We’d quit in our minds right then and there,” Sansone said. They decided to do just one more peak—to save face a little bit, they told themselves. Just as a little victory lap.

“At this point, I didn’t care about the time anymore,” Hamilton says. “For us, it was really just about the fact that we wanted to keep going. And we had all these crew members with us. We didn’t want to feel like we wasted their time. But the crew told us it didn’t matter—they had the time off work, and they were happy to be out there. ‘Who cares if it takes 11 or 12 days?’ They told us. ‘You’ll still finish, and that’s a great time.’” So, they decided to do one more peak. That turned into another—then another.

Along the way, the team hit several more lows. Sansone suffered a knee injury and was in so much pain at night that she had trouble sleeping. Hamilton also suffered from knee pain later on in the attempt. But they kept slogging along. And when they reached the top of their final mountain, the formidable Longs Peak, after 12 days, six hours, and 43 minutes, they said they felt nothing but pride. The couple had fallen short of breaking Hamilton’s 2015 record, but they did set a new FKT, becoming the first co-ed team to complete every Colorado 14er in a single push.

“I don’t think there was any disappointment [in not hitting our original goal],” Sansone says. “We were so proud of ourselves for pushing through and how difficult it was.” There’s now a new bar for co-ed teams where there wasn’t before. That’s worth being proud of, Sansone says. (They also finished faster than the solo women’s supported record of 14 days, 14 hours and 49 minutes, set in 2000.)

“It’s honestly better than if it went perfectly,” Hamilton adds. “The crew was amazing. The friendships they developed, and the hardship we overcame together—I wouldn’t change a thing.”

But perhaps the most impressive aspect of the whole thing is that Sansone and Hamilton still seem to like each other after their 12-day unmitigated sufferfest—something not all relationships are strong enough to endure. So, we asked them about their tips for adventure couples. Here’s what they came up with.

4 Ways to Survive Extreme Adventure With Your Relationship Intact

1. Don’t worry about running out of things to talk about

Most of the time, Hamilton and Sansone chat as they hike—but there’s no pressure to have deep conversations. “We talk a lot about [time] splits, our pace, and how we’re doing,” Sansone says. “It’s mostly logistics talk.” And when one of them is really hurting, they let themselves lapse into silence for as long as they need.

On this hike, the couple also listened to an audiobook. “She had one ear-pod, and I had the other,” Hamilton says. “We got really into this story.” For the first four days (before the ear-pods tragically broke), the book helped the time fly.

2. Be patient with each other

“We bicker quite a bit, honestly,” Hamilton says. “No couple is perfect, but we’re really good at immediately working through those things and recovering quickly.” The secret is not taking things personally, Hamilton says.

When Sansone’s knee started acting up mid-record attempt, Hamilton quickly realized that none of his encouragement was landing. “She was pretty sick of me,” he laughs. But he made a conscious decision to chalk it up to the pain and mileage—not to Sansone’s character. He also focused on what he could do: getting her back to their crew where her sisters and friends would be waiting. “I knew they’d be able to get [her] back into a good headspace even when I couldn’t,” he said.

3. Be relentlessly encouraging

One of Sansone and Hamilton’s big rules as a hiking couple is constant positivity. They’re careful to never nag one another, criticize each other’s pace, or hurry each other along. Belittling comments are strictly prohibited. “We don’t talk bad about each other,” Sansone says.

Instead, they’re intentional about prioritizing each other’s experience and hiking at a pace that’s fun and challenging for both of them—even if that means letting go of a goal time.

4. Focus on the quality time together

While it’s easy for speed-minded hikers to get sucked into time goals, Sansone and Hamilton work hard to maintain perspective.

“It’s about building your relationship and growing and enjoying life outside of being home together,” Hamilton says. “It’s really about the experience. If something happens and you don’t hit the time, who cares. The relationship is so much more important than that.”